One of the first questions to figure out is whether you want a divorce. It is important to realize that the legal system is not a form of counseling, and lawyers are not well equipped to help people determine whether they will need a divorce. The legal system should be considered the final act, after all reflection, analysis and counseling results have been considered. It is unwise and unrealistic to expect your lawyer to help you determine whether you should obtain a divorce. Your lawyer's role is to analyze what will happen if you obtain a divorce, and then proceed, if you are a willing client, to take all steps to obtain one.

If you want to try counseling, there are a number of resources available to help one determine if a divorce is the proper action to take. Many Employee Assistance Programs [EAPs] are well equipped to counsel either couples or one spouse in whether they ought to obtain a divorce. Many counselors can provide excellent resources to help spouses sort through marital difficulties in an effort to save their marriage. Likewise, many churches or other community groups can provide effective services to help in this determination.

The person inquiring about divorce should know that other than to make a calculated analysis of what will happen legally if a divorce is granted, a lawyer is best able to help after a determination to seek a divorce has been made. Similarly, the legal system ought not to be counted on to assist in reconciliation issues or prospects. One should be aware that the legal process surrounding divorce can be a bit cold and lifeless in that it can seem to aggressively push a divorce to its conclusion, yet rarely affords many opportunities to reconcile.

Indeed, if there is some doubt about the need for divorce, a couple might even attempt a separation period to help in the process. However, there is little difference in most states from a divorce and a Legal Separation.

If you have carefully considered all the options and would like to speak to an attorney about divorce, contact member services to start the process.